The Most Honest Post I’ve Ever Written
I’ve been thinking about writing this post for almost 2 years now, and in light of my recent post about The Healthy Living Summit – now seems like the right time.
This is something I didn’t think I’d ever talk about publicly. Maybe it will give me a little more street cred amongst the healthy living bloggers? 
This may come as a surprise to many of you, as I’ve never posted a picture of myself that wasn’t flattering, and I’ve never mentioned my struggle with weight gain/loss. But over the past 2 years, I have lost over 40 lbs.
I’ve been posting a lot of glamorous model-type shots of myself lately, and I don’t want to give off the impression that I’ve always looked or felt the way I do now. I want to try and share the full scope of who I am now, and who I’ve been.
Bear with me, it’s kind of a long story. Let’s start from the beginning…
Remember in my last post when I mentioned “Ugly Duckling Syndrome“? Well if you’re not familiar, it basically means that you haven’t always been pretty, so even though you may be now – you’re not stuck up about it.
In elementary school I was a weird kid, and definitely not one of the “pretty” girls. I was very active & imaginative – I played sports, had insurmountable loads of energy, walked to the beat of my own drum, and I was skinny.
I was very confident as a kid. I had dreams of becoming a famous singer/actress, and at this age – I believed I could do anything. I never worried about my body or what I ate as a kid. I remember thinking that the world was mine for the taking.
The summer before 6th grade I had a pretty significant knee injury at a performing arts camp, and was forced to keep my knee straight for an entire month. (I gashed it down to the bone falling off a stage). I had to go to therapy to learn to bend my leg again, and I blame that coupled with puberty for my “chubby” stage from age 12 – 14.
Please take a moment to enjoy my giant purple glasses.
For any of you that are curious about my natural hair color, there it is.
Between 7th and 8th grade (I looked the way I do in the above picture) I switched schools. I had previously been through a public elementary school, and spent 1 year at a public middle school. In 7th grade I was teased for the way I looked, and just generally felt very self conscious and sometimes scared – there were some rough kids at that school, and I did not fit in. I was a dreamer – my ideas of what was fun and worth doing in life didn’t always jive with my classmates.
In 8th grade I started fresh at a small, Catholic school, and eventually continued on to the small, Catholic high school. The environment felt safer and more inviting, but I still felt like I was a lone wolf (there’s that term again). After my 8th grade graduation I got contacts, and began to outgrow my awkward stage.
During my freshman year of high school I spent one season as a Basketball Cheerleader, but I was still holding on to a bit of baby fat. Cheerleading made me feel like I belonged, but it was so temporary and I didn’t continue it – so it was a fleeting feeling.
I was back to my skinny self and out of puberty by the time I was 15 through natural progression (meaning I never dieted or exercised intensely, I just grew). Looking back at pictures of me in high school I was definitely skinny – although I never thought so.
Me and Emily sometime in the summer of 2001.
Joe and I in December of 2002, during my senior year of high school.
In high school I wasn’t one of the girls that all the guys lusted after, as much as I wanted to be. I put myself out there, but I was turned down by countless crushes and snubbed by popular girls.
Halfway through my junior year I developed very bad acne, which was probably the biggest confidence killer. Somewhere along the way my carefree and optimistic attitude of my childhood started to wane.
I wasn’t like a lot of the girls – not even my friends. Looking back I feel like I was friends with a lot of the people I was out of convenience. They were there everyday, and there weren’t many other options (I had a very small class). Even when I had a group of girlfriends, I always felt like I wasn’t really the same as them. I don’t talk to anyone from high school anymore, except for Joe’s brother (who was in my class), and some of his & Joe’s friends.
Maybe that’s why I have trouble accumulating lots of female friends. I really don’t know, I just have never felt like I could be myself in a group of girls. I’m too… individual.
I’ve never been popular in my life, and I’m pretty happy about that. Being low on the social and beauty totem pole can be quite good for character building. In high school I took voice lessons for years, interned at the local television station, wrote for our town’s newspaper, made weird videos with my sister and another set of sister we were friends with, and generally avoided partying. I didn’t drink or try drugs, and I wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest. To be honest, I never really had the opportunity.
I always knew I was different from everybody else – and some day I would prove it.
*To segue into the college years, I just want to point out for those that don’t know – Joe and I started dating in October of my senior year of high school. Once we got serious I began to sever ties with all the girls I had been friends with. Joe understood me, and I could be myself completely – and I knew I’d be with him for a long time. I was happy to leave all my other classmates behind.
When I started college in the fall of 2003 I was very thin, and I fluctuated up and down about 15 lbs throughout my 3 and half years (I graduated a semester early). At times it was all about restriction, overeating, and inconsistent rigorous exercise – a common cycle I feel like a lot people deal with in college to try and stay on track.
This was taken in June 2005, at Joe’s high school graduation. My hair was quite short for a time there…
I honestly didn’t really enjoy my college experience and couldn’t wait to graduate and get out. In high school I never even wanted to go to college – I just wanted to move to NYC and try to become famous. I worked, interned, and kept to myself – again never really forming a tight bond with any group of girls. There’s only 1 or 2 people from college that I still keep in touch with.
This was part of my senior thesis, taken on the mall in Washington, DC in late 2006.
I moved to Pittsburgh in December of 2006 to be with Joe right after I graduated (he was a sophomore at Pitt at the time – we’re 2 years apart in school). I was sure I could get a job quickly and easily as I’d accumulated quite the resume of internships and jobs throughout college.
Unfortunately moving to a new city and getting a job was a lot harder than I thought (especially in an arts field). Ironically that’s the time I started this blog – but back then it wasn’t at all about food or healthy living, it was just to keep in touch with family and friends and motivate myself to continue my photography.
I spent January, February and March of 2007 unemployed, unhappy, and unhealthy. I never thought it would take 3 months to find a job – and those 3 months couldn’t have been worse. We didn’t have a car, I had very little money, and the weather was bitterly cold so I rarely left the house, except to go on the occasional job interview.
I ate very poorly, indulged in lots of sweets and alcohol, and really just let myself go. It was very disheartening to be continually turned away from job after job – especially since I knew I was qualified, motivated, etc… There was many a tear filled night made worse by excess drinking. I was furious that I wasn’t getting hired, and my confidence took a big hit. I definitely hit rock bottom, and the pounds came on – although I tried hard not to face it.
This was taken in May of 2007 at Joe’s brother’s college graduation.
I never weighed myself during that time, and I didn’t think I was gaining too much weight (maybe just a little). When we’d go to our hometown for visits I’d step on the scale and see a high number and think, “This scale must be off, there’s no way I weigh that.” But the numbers kept going up, not down. The highest I ever saw was 178, but I’m sure I must have breached 180 at some point.
I finally got a job in April of 2007 at the Pittsburgh Center for the Arts – the same place I work for today. I’d like to say that getting the job pulled me out of my slump, but it didn’t really. Sure I was happier and felt more fulfilled, but I still had a long way to go to get healthy and lose the weight. I was buying size 12 jeans, and my bra size had gone up a full cup. The reality was difficult for me to face.
I have my Dad to thank for the following pictures, as he’s the only person I know who still uses film. You can’t delete film, and this post would definitely not be as powerful without them (although if I had it my way, these never would have made it to print). So thank you, Dad, for never missing a beat in documenting our lives. I wonder where I get it from?
This was taken at Emily’s high school graduation in June 2007. I was always trying to pose so that my weight wouldn’t show.
This was sometime in the late summer of 2007. This photo makes me quite upset, and I still can’t believe I let myself get so heavy.
This was taken during the same weekend as the last photo. Probably the worst photo of all. I feel like I’m looking at a different person.
It was around the spring of 2007 that I discovered a little community of healthy living bloggers. I got the attitude of “Well, if they can do it – I can do it.” After all, they were just like me – not celebrities, just normal girls dealing with the same issues I was. I don’t exactly know when it happened, but soon after I started reading those blogs I made a big decision to focus on losing the weight, getting in shape, and becoming the healthiest version of myself.
It was slow going at first, and I didn’t really have a plan. It took well over a year until I finally noticed some changes. I wish I had some more specific tips to give you all about how I did it, but I really just made lots of little changes that all added up to big results.
Here are some things I remember changing (they’re all no-brainers):
1. I cut out alcohol – almost completely.
2. I cut out unhealthy snacks (we used to buy chips, chocolates, and ice cream weekly). Most everything that is processed or “junk” was banished.
3. I decided to start walking home for lunch everyday which added 20 minutes of exercise, giving me a minimum of 40 min of walking each day during the week.
4. I tried lots of new, healthy recipes and bought more fruits + vegetables.
5. I started running in the Spring of 2008.
6. I blogged about the new lifestyle and changes and engaged in the healthy blogging community.
7. I began to educate myself on nutrition through blogs, books, and more.
I DID NOT:
1. Count calories.
2. Join a gym.
3. Join Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or any type of program.
4. Start a regimented exercise routine (a la P90X or similar DVD set)
I’m proof that you don’t need any of that. The weight slowly, but surely came off – all through the accumulation of little changes.
I still indulge (as you heard about in Boston), and I never freak out or deny myself something that I want, when it’s worth it. It’s all about balance. Life is for LIVING!
This was taken in May 2008. When the weight started to come off I began to once again take pride in how I looked.
When thinking about writing this post I kept saying to Joe – “What can I write to inspire people? I’m not really sure what I did!” But just because I didn’t count calories or go on a specific diet or exercise routine doesn’t mean I don’t have any merit.
The biggest change I recognize as having a big influence was incorporating exercise into my life every day. I’ve never considered myself and athlete, and certainly not a runner. But in March of 2008 I decided to get out there and start running.
I vividly remember my first 2 mile run. It was the most painful, exhausting, and embarrassing experience. Joe was there with me, talking and encouraging – but I was gasping, struggling for breath, and making wheezing noises that were inhuman. I wanted to quit, stop, walk…. almost the entire time – but I didn’t. Running can be the most defeating, difficult thing, but for some reason I stuck with it. I saw how much it was changing my body and the number on the scale was dropping, which was enough motivation for me.
If you had told me 2 years ago that I would be training to run a half marathon, I would have laughed. Me? No way. But I am, and I am so proud of myself.
To highlight Joe’s part in this, he tells me he never noticed that I had gained weight. Of course I don’t believe him, but the bottom line is that he never stopped being supportive or loving – always telling me I was beautiful. When I told him about my commitment to weight loss he was there to back me up 100%. He was encouraging to no end – going with me on runs, eating my weird, healthy foods, and letting our blog become a little more personal and “healthy”.
It’s been a long journey, but I’m I recently have gotten down to a weight that makes me happy and HEALTHY. Of course I still would like to lose a few for my upcoming wedding, but I have a feeling the half marathon training will take care of that.
This photo may look familiar, I took it around the end of June 2009.
In a way I’m grateful for that period in my life where I hit rock bottom. I would never be where I am today without taking those first few steps to climb out of that unhealthy cycle.
And I’m grateful that I’ve always been such an individual (whether I liked it or not). I feel like if I’d fallen into a clique of girls I wouldn’t have been strong enough to stand out and become the person I am today.
During my weight loss I got angry with myself for allowing the weight gain to happen. I remember thinking “You’re too pretty and talented to be heavy – to treat your body this way….” and it hasn’t been until fairly recently that I’ve really thought “I am gorgeous, and I can do this. I can do anything I want.” I’m happy that my outward appearance finally reflects my inner self.
I know what it’s like to feel ugly, fat, and to not fit in. I’ve felt it all.
When I post pictures of myself looking glamorous, happy, and confident it’s because I am proud.
I’m trying to live my life now how I did as a kid. To be carefree, 100% confident in my skin, and ready to take on the world. My Mom has lots of stories about my boldness, my stage presence, and my personality. I want to be that girl again, I owe it to my former self to live up to all the potential I knew I always had.
This post has turned out to be more than just a weight loss recap, although losing the weight has been the trigger for going back through all these feelings and memories. I’m just trying to put it all out there so you can get a clearer picture of who I am.
A lot of you have shared personal weight loss stories on your blogs, and I always felt too embarrassed and ashamed to go there. I never thought this blog would turn into what it is today, and I never expected to get so personal. But I’m damn proud of myself, so why not?
…Deep breath…
I’m just scratching the surface on a lot of these issues. I feel like I could write a book!
I hope you all appreciate my honesty, and I intend to keep it up. I have some amazing readers out there, and through your recent comments you’ve all given me the confidence and courage to write and publish this post. Thank you . And I hope if you have any questions you will send them my way, I’m happy to share more.
I’m turning 24 on Friday and I feel like this is just the beginning….
This is going to sound so cliche, but THANK YOU for posting this. Being a heavier girl, its hard for me to look at girls that are small and can run like there’s no tomorrow…let alone take “just accept yourself” advice from them. You rock girlie
this made me cry. i love you so much it’s probably creepy to all of your readers.
Wow, this was such an amazing post. And I definitely think it will be good motivation for a lot of people out there seeing how far you’ve come. Personally, I think you were pretty through it all… let’s face it, none of us were very fashionable in middle school and those clothes and hairstyles totally brought us down
Maybe some day I’ll get the confidence to post middle school pics on my blog too… Actually, Chels and I were friends way back then so I’m sure we have a lot of photos together that would be fabulous.
It’s totally clear you’ve grown into a really wonderful person and I’m so impressed with your honesty! That says a lot.
I cannot even verbalize what I need to say right now. The simplest thing to say is.. thanks.
More in email.
Um, wow. I don’t quite know what to say. I related with almost every single aspect of this post. You are so great Betsy. So awesome. I’m so glad I got to meet you in person. I’ll just leave it at that.
Great post. More honest than I am or will ever be on my blog. We will have to talk sometime soon, because I could use someone to be honest about this issue with, besides my husband!
And are you going out at all for your birthday? I think I will be out around south side for my brother’s 25th this friday.
Wow, I just stumbled upon this and its a great read. I was somewhat following all the Healthy Living Summit stuff and then your reaction to the Healthy Living Summit and was kind of pondering over the whole thing myself…
This is great though – I love the idea of living how you lived when you were a child. I can also TOTALLY appreciate being an ugly duckling. I too had the huge glasses, braces, and weird 12 year old chubbiness.
Congrats on your lifestyle change and congrats on writing this post…
What a wonderful post. Thank you for putting it all out there and sharinf your story; it is so inspiring. I’m glad you’ve again found the place where you feel great for who you are.
Great job on the honest weight loss post – it sounds as though we have a similar experience. I was “chubby” in elementary school, got skinnier in jr. high when I played volleyball, got a little heavier towards the end of high school, reached my heaviest in college and grad school, and in the past two years I’ve lost over 40 pounds. Also like you, I didn’t really “do” anything – I’ve never really “dieted” and I never followed any strict regimens. Luckily, I’m the type of person who loves working out!
Also, I’m completely jealous of the HLS trip you took – I wanted to go, but couldn’t justify the cost (not of the summit itself, but the plane & hotel) to meet people I don’t know. And I totally understand how you must have felt – I would think it would be awkward and surreal to meet people for the first time and already know everything about them.
Anyways, I just wanted to say great work on the post!
absolutely stunning. what a beautiful and well-written post.
thank you <3
damn, betsy, we’ve got a lot more in common than i ever realized. we should trade high school outsider stories and bad pre-weight loss pictures (though i think mine are MUCH worse than yours – you’re a lot more photogenic than me, even when you were 40lbs heavier). thanks for putting it all out there, i think it’s important for other women, especially, to see that you don’t have to be a born athlete to be healthy. and happy.
You’ve come so far, but have been amazing since the beginning!! Kudos and thank you once again for your candidness/complete honesty.
What a beautiful, beautiful post. Thank you for sharing – that takes a lot to put this out there, but you should be proud! I can relate to a lot of your story, and I’m still in the midst of some parts of it.
I definitely agree that life is worth LIVING. Thank goodness for that bison burger + fries I had at lunch
I definitely enjoyed your most honest post ever, and I have to say that this is still one of my favorite blogs and probably always will be. You have such an amazing talent of capturing moments, food, nature, etc in pictures and a great way of expressing those in words, too.
I relate to so much of your journey. Betsy, you are so gorgeous, honestly, in all of these photos! I can relate hugely to not always being a “girl’s girl” and having a huge group of girlfriends. I can relate to going through a chubby/overweight stage in my yough and fighting, even today, to maintain some form of balance so I am happy with my body but not too neurotic. I can relate to your long distance relationship. I guess I find you very relatable!
wow… I just found you yesterday and am already hooked.
what a great post and inspiring transformation.
*not always having a huge group, I mean!
Wow, I must say this is one of the best posts I’ve read since I started my own blog. I admire your strength to write about your route to living a healthy, happy, beautiful life! You look so beautiful and it’s so inspiring to hear your story. Thank you for expressing your path to happiness and good health!!!
Wow–this post is so beautiful. I really loved going through this journey with you. I cannot tell you much it means to all of your readers–for you to post something so honest and close to your heart. I am proud of how far you have come in your healthy lifestyle–and cannot wait to see what else you take on!
You are truly gorgeous–inside and out.
An awesome post by a totally awesome chick. Betsy, your individuality and commitment to yourself are such inspiring traits. I’m so glad you put all of this out there and I hope you feel the relief you deserve! You look lovely now and you’ll look positively stunning on your wedding day – whether you gain or lose weight, you’ll be beautiful because you’re marrying your most perfect match!!
Betsy you are awesome and you truly inspire me!
You are a rock star! I could relate so much to your relationships with your friends in high school…that’s how I’ve always felt. In fact my 4 best friends are my mom, dad, sisters and my husband, they just understand me for who I am. You are so inspiring and you SHOULD be proud – you are beautiful inside and out!
awww Betsy I would have never imagined. Your life just looked so picture perfect from the blog. Thanks for this post, IT IS truly an inspiration.
What a beautiful and inspirational post. It must feel good to have your story out in the public. It’s nice to see so many people who have gotten healthy the right way, and are loving the way they feel and look now! Keep it up.
Btw, you and your pictures are gorgeous!
Thanks so much for sharing this post! While I can’t relate to ALL of it (I TRIED to stand out and not fit in in high school), I can definitely relate to parts of it.
And I totally had the same glasses back in middle school…we will NOT be digging out photos of me in middle/high school, I can say that right now.
I can relate to this more than you could ever know. Wow. Thank you so much for posting this. It was awesome.
Really incredible. Really relateable. You’re gorgeous. You’re honesty is much appreciated, especially by those people who have shared similar experiences…
you’ll be stunning in your wedding pictures.
I love how strong, powerful, and honest this post is. I feel like a lot of it mirrors my own childhood and struggle throughout elementary/middle/high school. I think we should have a competition to see who has the most awkward and embarrassing school photos! I’m pretty sure I’d win.
Also, stop being so damn beautiful. (;
Like everyone has said, beautiful post! You’ve had a long road but beautiful nonetheless!
Betsy–you are so amazing and inspiring. Not only because of this post, since I loved your before it. But for everything you stand for and everything you say. I admire you, beyond words. You were always beautiful and always will be. Your inner character and personality is equally as gorgeous as your flawless exterior features. Seriously. I guess you’re just perfect inside and out. Jealous!
I hope this comment doesn’t sound lame or fake. I really love reading your blog. This post made me cry!
Love,
Amy
Wow, if *you* weren’t one of the pretty ones (in your own words) what does that say about the rest of us? I assumed you were a model when I found your blog.
not kidding.
That was a very amazing post. My friend and i really love your blog and think Joe is pretty much the cutest guy. It is wonderful to here the truth and be able to relate to someone you admire.
Thank you!
Wow Betsy, thanks for sharing such a personal story, I feel like I know you so much better now. I just want to say that I think you are absolutely gorgeous in all of your pictures, even when you were heavier, but I can just see in your face that you are so much happier and more secure in yourself now. Thanks for being so open and honest!
Also, you and Joe look sooooo happy together in that last picture!
this is such a gorgeous post, kiddo!!!
My favorite part: “and I never freak out or deny myself something that I want, when it’s worth it. It’s all about balance. Life is for LIVING!”
I totally agree with what you had to say about the “popular” girls growing up. Not being in that crowd totally gives you room for improvement and development. If you’re THAT “cool” when you’re 12… you don’t really have much to look forward to in life
Keep up the great work, your blog is most definitely one of the ones that keeps me coming back due to your total and complete honesty and openness.
Also, your birthday is the day before mine… Leo pride
Have a great 24th bday!
I know how difficult it must have been to write and share this, but, thanks for
doing that. It is a great and inspiring story!
Thank you! I am inspired…
Betsy, thank you for posting this. While I know that this kind of honesty is in absolutely no way easy to come by, you have succeeded in creating a post that is beautiful and intelligent, which I think is probably a really good reflection of who you are. There are quite a few other “ugly ducklings” out there, and I consider myself to be one of them. While looking back at the past through pictures and realizing that you don’t have anyone from high school that you would consider getting together with can be painful, it’s amazing to see where you are today and how far you’ve come. You have every right to be proud of who you are, and I am so glad you were finally able to share more of your story.
Are you getting your “sparkle” back that you had as a kid?
i relate to so much of this post. i was definitely an “ugly duckling”. i was tall (still am–6 feet!), skinny, and awkward. was also snubbed by popular girls, and was even asked to a middle-school dance by a boy on the phone one night, to find out the next day he asked me as a joke. recently, people that i haven’t seen since middle or high-school (i’m 27 now) have found me on facebook. i have had countless comments on how i’m “hot” now, or how “beautiful” i am and say that they can’t believe it’s really me. it’s nice to know that there are other ugly ducklings out there too
i think it’s difficult to relate unless you’ve been there!
Get ‘em girl!
-W
Betsy,
Ever since I started reading your blog, I’ve thought that you’re one of the most talented and truly beautiful bloggers that I’ve encountered. I am always amazed by your stunning photos, I think that you radiate such light in your pictures that reflects the person that you are on the inside.
Like so many others, I am in awe of this post. Thank you so much for sharing times when you have struggled with us because that says a lot about who and where you are now. I think it’s easy for us to sometimes fall into the trap of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” By sharing this with your readers, I think you open up a new level for appreciating and understanding you as a person. You’re incredible!
Thank you so much for such an honest post. Like many people, I can really relate to your story as an ugly duckling growing up and trying so hard to fit in when I knew I was different inside. Granted, I never turned into a beautiful swan like you, but I feel that I am the best version of myself right now.
Hey! Just found your blog thru Gina (Fitnessista’s) twitter. Such an amazing post, and honest message. You look absolutely beautiful
!
You are officially my hero. This was an amazing post, something that I can definitely relate to.
Betsy, this is an interesting post because it shows that you cannot judge people before you know them. With blonde hair and stunning good looks it would be easy for people to assume you were a certain way without getting to know you, which sucks and is a very limited way to travel through life.
This is so utterly amazing. I echo what everyone else said (lame) and sent you an email with more of my long winded musings
You are such an incredible person!
The major response to this blog shows just how much it has touched your readership. Beautifully done. As for then ugly duckling, I have known you for a few years but somehow I missed the ugly part. You have always been a stunner to my ancient eyes! Watching you and Joe mature through the years has been a delight. Your relationship has always impressed me. Can’t wait for December so that we can be officially related
I totally relate to this. I am also a one woman wolf pack. I’ve had girl friends, and have no problem getting along with the majority of girls…but sometimes the drama and pettiness that they bring is jut not for me. The girls I am friendly with now don’t really share the same outlook on life as me so it can be hard to relate. No matter what though, I know I have my sister. She’s my best friend and we can totally relate on every level. We might not get along 100% of the time, but what sisters do?
One of the best “weight loss” stories I have read in this crazy little blog world. Although, this is so much more than that. You are a phenomenal writer and truly incredible woman.
PS…you look gorgeous in ALL of those photos.
hey Betsy!!!!!
It was SOOOO great meeting you this weekend at the summit! Too bad we didn’t get to hang out more, but you are such a sweetie!
By the way….this was an amazing post….I can only imagine how hard it was to write! I must say it reminded me a lot of myself!
hey! I just started reading your blog and I have to say, this post was amazing. Having gone through similar ‘ugly duck’ issues throughout my childhood and never really fitting in with girls my age, I totallllly get where you’re coming from. It’s so great to see that you’re in a healthy place (beautiful inside and out) and did it in a smart way
I’ve been thinking about getting healthier for a while, and I think that post just pushed me to make the change. I’m by no means fat, but I’m just never satisfied, and I never really FEEL healthy. I’m still in highschool, and I can totally relate to your experience. I have lots of girlfriends, but I can never really feel close to them, maybe cuz im just a little different. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who’s felt this way. I only discovered your blog a couple months ago, but it is quickly becoming a favourite. Thanks so much for that post!
I read a lot of blogs but never comment on them. But I really was moved by your story and just wanted to tell you that this was an amazing post. I’ve been there. I gained and lost weight all through college and my post-college years. It’s a hard thing to deal with! I’m really impressed that you put your story out there for everyone to see. You look fantastic and congrats on your switch to a healthier lifestyle. It’s motivation for me to get back on track as the summer winds down.
Thank you!
great post! great pics! i love the honesty!
What a wonderful post! I got kind of teary from your honesty and from thinking about how much I can relate to – it takes a lot of courage to share thoughts and photos like this and I really admire your being willing to do so.
I stumbled onto your blog from On a Lobster Placemat. Thank you for posting this story. I was the super stick thin child that was never concerned about anything until my parents divorced and puberty hit simultaneoulsy. Not a good combination and probably weighed about 150 by 14. Cheerleading in high school helped me lose some weight but college put it back on and maybe a tad more. I lost a ton of weight and was in the best shape of my life around 23-26 years old. Marriage and moving to a new city caused me to lose motivation and my weight has gone back up. Your story is making me realize it’s going to take dedication but it’s not as hard as I think to regain my former strong body and self confidence.
Thank you.
This is my first time reading your blog; I found it through On a Lobster Placemat. What an honest post – thanks for sharing :O). I think most females have had a point in their lives where they have struggled with weight. A story like this is so nice to read and know you’re not alone!
Betsy,
Thanks so much for sharing. I know how hard it is to post such personal things, but I really think it’s this type of honesty that can and will inspire others. You are such a gorgeous and wonderful person. I love reading about all of your accomplishments and battles.
Take care!
Sarah
What a great post, it really is inspiring to see your journey and your advice. You look fab!
Oh man, to live like we did as children. I am with you on that goal of living care-free, confident and ready for anything. I remember how imaginative, wild and ridiculous I was as a little girl, not to mention that I didn’t give a stitch about how my body looked. I was just enjoying the fact that I had a body that could propel me to the top of trees, through the lake and across the playground.
I keep hearing 2Pac in my head…”this is the realest sh!t i ever wrote.” Seriously, this is an awesome post and you should be so proud to share this accomplishment and your honesty. I just love your blog and how you never make an excuse for what you eat or don’t eat. I never hear you say that you splurged on pizza or emphasize that you only ate half of the cookie. Or make an excuse for eating an old childhood favorite or a bad habit that you may have. I never understand the need for that. It’s your world and this is your space to share. Your attitude towards balance, health and your personal goals are awesome. I’m inspired by your philosophy and the small changes you made and I hope you keep sharing your insights with us. xoxo!
Thank you so much! I loved hearing your story! You are so beautiful- inside and out!!!
Happy EARLY birthday!!!!!!!!!!
You’re STUNNING Betsy and always have been, inside and out.
This post is stunning in every way. The words, the honesty. You’ve just made many of us feel like you were speaking to us and us alone. You just voiced the feelings that so many people don’t know how to describe. There are so many points in this story where I felt like you were voicing my emotions, telling my story, rather than your own. Except you’re farther along than I am in accepting, taking pride in, and loving yourself wholeheartedly. And that’s what makes you so inspiring. You’ve come so far and accomplished so much, and you have so much more ahead of you. I hope that someday, maybe by the time I reach 24, but hopefully even sooner than that, I can be at that same place with myself.
Thank you for writing this, for revealing something that was so difficult for you to talk about. It’s truly an amazing post.
Thank you thank you thank you for this wonderful and inspiring post!! I have always admired your blog, pictures, creativity, normal food, relationship with Joe, etc! And your honestly in the past couple posts have really stuck out espesh in the blog world, which I feel can sometimes be like high school popularity contest. Your story really hits home with never feeling like you clicked with groups of girls. I chose to go to boarding school fresh and soph year of high school and tried SO ridiculously hard to fit in with the girls at the school. I bought the shoes they wore, pearl earrings, etc.. nothing ever changed and I finally gave up trying to be friends with them. However, I still felt like I wasn’t good enough which just led to me developing eating issues and dropping unhealthfully dropping 25 lbs in 2 months during my summer before returning sophomore year. I finally realized with help from my true friends in my dorm that you should never feel like you have to change yourself to make friendships. Unhealthful eating went out the door and I began to enjoy life again without feeling like the bottom of a shoe! So yes, this comment became way longer than I expected but just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated every word in this post and think you are and were beautiful in every single picture! I don’t care what weight or size you were.. we are our biggest critics and never see the real beauty in ourselves!
What I’m struck most by in this post is how familiar it all sounds. The destructive nature of poor body image makes me so very sad. I’m glad that you were able to hit a bottom so quickly (though I’m sure it didn’t feel quick to you). I’m much older, and was not nearly so wise in my early 20s. Kudos to you, for being an inspiration, to anyone who has ever felt fat.
Thank you so much for being brave enough to post this — I relate to SO much of your story!!!
Wow. Where the f have I been? I can’t believe I missed this unbelievable post — this is so touching, Betsy. Especially the photos to chronicle your journey. You should be very proud of it — and look, so many others are grateful!
You are an inspiration to us all! I was overwhelmed by the honesty of your post and want to thank you for sharing that part of yourself with everyone. I also can relate to you, not having a huge group if girlfriends, but only one best friend, and also having a rough time in high school and college. I just never fit in! What a fabulous post.
You are gorgeous on the inside an out!
I’ve been a reader for a while now…probably 6 months or so. I’ve never commented, although I LOVE the blog. But I just have to say thank you for this post. Your raw honesty is so inspiring. I relate to so much of what you wrote (it’s actually borderline ridiculous). I feel that I am in the midst of my “low point” in my battle with weight, which has been going on for about three years now. I hadn’t realized that you had a similar issue…and I’m inspired to hit the treadmill! Interestingly, I wanted to run the Regent Square 5K this past weekend, but felt like I would just embarrass myself. Maybe I’ll find another one in the fall to train for…?!?!
Anyways, thank you. And-just to simply reiterate what has already been said-you’re beautiful.
I also live in the East End…maybe we could do coffee sometime?
You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my entire life, so I must admit I was pretty surprised to read about what had been going on inside your head. This is a great post, one that practically everyone can relate to. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Heather!
congrats betsy! what a story girl! whew, i can relate. i constantly gained weight throughout college (stress, poor diet), started to drop some before i moved to cali (stress, poor diet), and then continued to lose more when i got here (these californians are health nuts but they love to eat!). i’m now focused on nurturing my body and going for healthy. i stumbled upon your page because i’m searching for a really good chocolate chip recipe. lol! it’s nice to see that life’s been good to you and you’ve got more to come! congrats on everything!
Such an amazing story–you go girl!
I just came across this post of yours and loved it. Thanks for sharing your story! It’s inspiring. I’ve always felt like my outward appearance didn’t reflect how I felt inside. I wonder if we all or many of us feel that way?